Grooms Guide

So you've proposed... now what?



Grooms come in one of two types.

Type A is completely involved from everything from checking out venue locations to working on invitation designs. They have compiled well thought out lists and maybe even started working on their vows months in advance.

And then there are Type B Grooms. The ones that like to participate in the cake tasting, but that is all they are really interested in. Well you are in luck!

Brides magazine has put together a guide for the Type B grooms out there.

Man-Datory

12 Months Before
Propose. OK, you did that already, or you wouldn't be reading (or being forced to read) this article. Did you give her a ring? If not, take her shopping—and practice getting down on one knee.

Tell your parents. They like her already, so how tough could this be?

Talk numbers. Who's going to pay for the wedding? Her parents, yours, the two of you, or some combination of the above? Discuss it with all relevant parties. Be honest, be brave, be real.

9 Months Before
Visit the officiant with your fiancée. Get used to the word "officiant." This is the man or woman who will marry you and possibly give you premarital counseling. If your fiancée has always dreamed of walking down the aisle to the William Tell Overture or exchanging vows written in haiku, this is the person whose approval you'll need.

Write half of the guest list. Your fiancée knows your closest friends and relatives, but what about Cousin Ernie from Milwaukee and those nice folks you lived next door to in fourth grade? (On second thought, cross off Ernie and the neighbors if you're not in touch anymore.) Write down a wish list of everyone you would like to invite; plan on whittling it down later when you compare notes.

Register for gifts. You'll be dining off the plates and drinking from the glasses for the rest of your life, too, so unless you don't mind staring at pink china for a few decades, offer an opinion if your fiancée gets too girly with her choices. Think of this as your opportunity to pick out things you both like. And call dibs on the scan gun.

Choose your best man and ushers. Pick people with whom you have a strong bond. The buddy you've known since summer camp? Definitely. The blogger who shares your belief that Stripperella was Pamela Anderson's finest work? Definitely not.

Go see photographers, caterers, bakers, and the rest. Do it because you love her—and because you might get some free cake.

6 Months Before
Arrange the honeymoon. Think about places that have always fascinated you. Not sure? Consider your hobbies. If you like riding horses, Google "dude ranch." Or try "windsurfing" or "18th-century cathedrals" or "shopping for fabulous jewelry." (Oh, sorry, that last one was for your fiancée.)

3 Months Before
Figure out your clothes. The guys in your wedding party wear the same thing you do. (The dads can wear something similar or an exact match.) If it's a tuxedo or morning coat, you all need to be fitted, unless you already own formal garb. E-mail everyone the details: store name and address, when to go, what to order. Or put your best man in charge.

Purchase gifts for the wedding party. Gifts for the friends and family in the wedding ceremony are normally given as a token of appreciation for being there for you on your big day. Engravable gifts are a great way to personalize the gift. Cufflinks, money clips and flasks are very good starters.

Shop for wedding rings. Most guys get one. It's like wearing a watch, but smaller and on your finger.

Deal with the rehearsal dinner. If you're following tradition, this meal's on you or your parents. Ask your fiancée if she has a restaurant in mind.

Sign up for dance lessons. Get a few moves down and you'll feel okay when 187 pairs of eyes are staring at you.

1 Month Before
Write the vows. This is the ultimate way to personalize your ceremony. No need to go for a Pulitzer, though—borrow lines from poems or songs.

2 Weeks Before
Get the marriage license. This is usually issued by your local county clerk. Call first to see what, if any, special paperwork you need, such as blood tests (log on to usmarriagelaws.com). Don't put this off—most states have a one- to five-day waiting period between the time the license is issued and the marriage ceremony.

Day of Wedding
Greet every guest. Even if you're not typically the touchy-feely type, you'll be on such a high after the vows, you'll be bear-hugging everyone in sight.

Perform the first dance. "Perform" may be setting the bar too high. You didn't take lessons? Just follow your wife's lead and act like you're having fun.

Do a slow dance with each mom. Tissues, please.

Make a toast. Grab the mike and say a brief and heartfelt thanks to your bride, her parents, and the guests. You'll be her hero. And there's no sweeter way to begin a marriage.


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